Should you cut off relations?

Relations are always difficult. There are a lot more behind the scene that we could tell at first. Memories, feelings, fights, experience and a lot more. Sometimes there is a time to cut off someone from our lives when it brings more negative aspects than positive.

And still… it is not easy. I have lost a few friends already. It happened because I changed, they changed, we went a different way with our lives, I moved to a different country and the bond was not strong enough. But this taught me not to try when is no point anymore.

 

toxic people

cut or not?

Sometimes the other person is just not good for you anymore. They give you more bad feeling when you are talking to them, when you are around them and they try to pull you back and act like you are not worthy – only them. When this happens – even you fight against your feelings – you have to think about to cut the person from your life.

I have cut a few people from my life – friends and family. They are toxic people and after long years the relationship doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about them anymore, but I do not want to be involved in their dramas. You can call me cold-hearted, but when your feelings are always telling you the truth and is time to say no after a long time.

 

Have you ever cut someone from your life?

What are the signs of a toxic person?

From time to time we can have toxic people in our lives and better to be aware of it. If you feel drained around certain people or not comfortable with someone, it’s time to check these signs. Better to know you have a relation with a toxic person than punish yourself.

I am not going to write down all of the scientific sides of it, only what I have learned/experienced so far.

 

sign of toxic people

toxic

– you are feeling emotionally exhausted by them

– they try to generate a guilty feeling in you (not doing something)

– they are control freak, want to control your life (who can you be friends with)

– they cannot take no

– they always have a paranoid/conspiracy idea

– they don’t respect your boundaries

I think someone who is always trying to be in a victim role to get what they want. At the meantime, they don’t respect your decisions and get mad or upset when you are step up and do whatever is good for you. They don’t understand you don’t want to hurt them, but you have your own life and decisions and don’t say yes for everything just to please them all the time. Also, I think their life is full of unnecessary drama and they are always complaining about it but not taking any advice to be in a better situation.

When you are not feeling uncomfortable around someone and try to avoid them – think, it might be a toxic person who you are dealing with.

How to make a relationship work

One day my boyfriend came home and was talking about his day at work. He said that he had a colleague who was complaining about her relationship. She is with her boyfriend around a year now, but they don’t really go anywhere or hardly spend time together. They are sitting at home when they have time together but they haven’t had a normal day off together for months. They are working at the same fast food company, where easy to request a particular day off.  I am just saying… Continue reading

9 ways to make friends as an adult

 

  1. Meetup
  2. Volunteer: offer your free time of any organization which are you interested in. You can meet new people and build your skills and knowledge as well. Kill two birds with one stone!
  3. Accept invitations: are you invited for a coffee by someone who barely knows you? Say yes! If you have a good feeling about the person, then go and have fun.
  4. Know your friend’s friends: just because they are one of your friends’ friends doesn’t mean you cannot be their real friends. Talk to them when you are at the same party or dinner.
  5. Get to know your neighbours: have you had a few chit chat with your neighbour on the street? Invite them for a cup of coffee next time.
    9 ways to make friends as an adult
  6. Have a drink with your workmates after a long shift: it is a good way to befriend with your colleagues.
  7. Join a sports club, music club etc: if you have favourite free time activity, then look for a club. You can share your interest with the members.
  8. Customer from your workplace: you probably have a nice short daily chat with your regular customers, then organize something together to have longer conversations.

Why making friends is important

We all need friends. I think this is something that we can agree on.

We need someone to call or text, or just hanging with, no matter how old we are.

You don’t need to have a lot of friends, a few of them are perfectly enough as long as they are good friends.

 

My boyfriend’s mother is retired and she has a more active social life than ever before! She has time going to the swimming pool, traveling around the world or gardening.

You have a lot of chance to find friends. Have you ever thought about a regular customer of your workplace who always has a chat with you? It’s time to consider it! When I worked in hospitality, one of my regular customers became a really good friend of mine! Then we went out for a beer or dinner, I met with his other friends and family too!

Why making friends is important

The same friend told me that try this: sit in a pub alone and just watch. Someone will come and talk to you! You can find yourself in a really interesting conversation! He did it a lot.

There are a lot of people who feels lonely and needs a company. If you are open-minded enough these occasions give you a great opportunity to meet new people.

Sometimes the only thing we need to have someone to talk to, have human contact. It boosts your energy and raises your motivation level.

 

Text your friends today, check on them and let them know that you are there for them! It means a world sometimes. You never know when the other feels down a bit. We all need to know there is someone for us when we need it!