Friendship needs to be appreciated

friends time

Do you have a lot of friends? I used to have a lot around me but then life happened and quite a few of them moved to a different country or town. I accepted (nothing I can do about it, can`t I?) that we cannot meet as often as we did before. In the meantime, I am grateful for friends who still live close by.

Well… relatively… living in London, you have to travel long to meet someone.. I don’t really mind when my commute is longer than I would expect. The price is always seeing my friends, which worth the effort.

This has to be two way, tho. I like when the other half doesn’t have to check their calendar or think whether they have better things to do or not. When they don’t just wish to meet but actually make it happen.

Before I went on holiday, I texted a really good friend who I used to work with to see whether we have a chance to meet in Hungary or not. She lives on the other side of the country, but we still considered quite a few options before we washed our meeting away. It was not the right time, although we both were desperate to see the other. We both would rather travel through the country just to have a face to face chat which we haven’t had for almost 3 years. We don’t give up meeting in the very close future but knowing that she would have done the same effort as me just to see each other, means the world to me.

The other good friend is a family actually, with whom we have regular dinner parties (I know it sounds old, but hey… food, drink and good company… what else do you need after a long week?!). We live almost 2 hours away from each other but it is never an issue.

These guys I call friends. Making an effort to meet or have a phone call or video chat is a two-way game. Both parties have to work on it.

I love friends from who you cannot have enough. You talk every day, you meet often and you still feel like the time together is nothing. You are not getting bored of each other, you have unlimited topics to talk about and your time together is full of joy and laugh. You just feel natural and efforts are obviously made.

Get the blame for a kind thing you have done

Get the blame for a kind thing you have done

What an amazing feeling could it be?!

Well yeah, I definitely feel it from time to time. Have you ever heard a sentence “once my big heart will kill me”. So you know what I am talking about…

I have learned to say no for a long time ago now… It makes my life easier and protects me from unnecessary drama and conflict which I am not into at all. Sometimes, I still put others above me and in the end, I am the one who hurts the most. Continue reading

How much responsibility do you take?

How much responsibility do you take?

There are compromises in relationships in general which could be silly or very important ones. We all would like to make our loved ones happy and accept tasks to do which might not be our taste.

However, we have to ask ourselves where is the limit? How much the other person has to take? Is not knowing basic common things okay? Continue reading

Valentine’s Days

Valentines Day

You can hate it, you can love it, or it can be neutral to you. For me Valentine’s Day is not really a special occasion.

I used to hate when I was single and used to be excited when I had a boyfriend and wanted to make it super special. But honestly, it doesn’t have to be an extraordinary day. When you find your other half, happiness will be with you every day. You don’t want to pay extreme attention to one day just because of its name. Continue reading

When do you have to say goodbye

When to say goodbye

So many memories. So many feelings. So many experiences. So many deep conversations. When do you have to give up on it? Do you have to at all?

Once, someone told me, you can manage only around 100 people in your life. Someone has to fall out to give space to someone new. I always think about this when an emotional distance wedge a rope between me and a friend and a friend became a stranger. Or at least someone who is not in my life anymore. Continue reading

Spending Christmas with loved ones

Christmas without family

This is my 5th Christmas not being with my family, staying in London and spending time with my partner and friends.

I have lost a spirit in the last few years when I still lived in Hungary. The expectations bother me. Somehow everything has to be perfect for and during Christmas, nobody can say an angry word, we must love our brothers and sisters and we must be good for a few days.

I reached a point when I found this very dishonest. Why those `rules` state for only 2-3 days? We should be kind to others for the rest of the days as well. I believe it is okay to acting as it is a normal day like any other. And anyway – I remember – something always happened and we ended up in a fight. Continue reading

Say yes to an opportunity – Three years together

Say yes to an opportunity - Three years together

My friend – who I lived with – invited me to a Hungarian gig party where I went; even I hardly know the band, but sounded fun. He also invited one of his workmates. We met in our flat for chit-chat and made a journey to the party together. The gig was awesome and the after-party was splendid. We definitely had a great time. The day after he sent me a friend request on Facebook and we started to chat… That’s how it started… 3 years ago… Continue reading

How we can understand people and why it’s important

How we can understand people and why it's important2

Have you ever been mad at your friends? Of course, you had been… Let’s be honest, friendship is as the same as any relation – different personalities, dreams, desires, plans, ways of thinking. It is normal to have a disagreement between friends.

I had been angry with my friends lately. They decided to move to Spain a few months ago. They are still in London, but since then I haven’t really heard from them. We always tried to plan a night out but never happened. They were too busy with other stuff… Pf… Who wasn’t? They finished their job months ago and – in my mind – the only thing they had to do is packing. Of course, I didn’t know the small but important details such as they haven’t found a house in Spain yet, they haven’t found a new housemate who will take over their rooms and so on.

How should I know? They didn’t tell me these! I only knew (from my point of view) that they avoid me. I felt down because I knew our days are counted. Of course, I am going to visit them, it will be a great opportunity to explore Alicante, but I badly wanted to have time with them before they jump in the car and start their journey. Continue reading

How to cut off a toxic person

 

It takes time to realize you are dealing with a toxic person, but once you do it’s time to do something against it.

I had been there before. You do not have to cut totally as long as you can handle it, but have your distance from them.

toxic person

cut toxic person

– Take some space and do not be involved in every drama they have.

– You don’t have to cut them totally, but set limits and don’t let them step over.

– Don’t give them an explanation of why you don’t want to be around them, probably they won’t even agree with you.

– Don’t argue them anymore, it drains you without any outcome.

– Respect your decisions.

– Be proud of yourself and don’t be ashamed.

 

Every person and situation different but when something is giving more negative moment than positive, it’s time to consider what is best for you.