Say yes to an opportunity – Three years together

Say yes to an opportunity - Three years together

My friend – who I lived with – invited me to a Hungarian gig party where I went; even I hardly know the band, but sounded fun. He also invited one of his workmates. We met in our flat for chit-chat and made a journey to the party together. The gig was awesome and the after-party was splendid. We definitely had a great time. The day after he sent me a friend request on Facebook and we started to chat… That’s how it started… 3 years ago… Continue reading

How we can understand people and why it’s important

How we can understand people and why it's important2

Have you ever been mad at your friends? Of course, you had been… Let’s be honest, friendship is as the same as any relation – different personalities, dreams, desires, plans, ways of thinking. It is normal to have a disagreement between friends.

I had been angry with my friends lately. They decided to move to Spain a few months ago. They are still in London, but since then I haven’t really heard from them. We always tried to plan a night out but never happened. They were too busy with other stuff… Pf… Who wasn’t? They finished their job months ago and – in my mind – the only thing they had to do is packing. Of course, I didn’t know the small but important details such as they haven’t found a house in Spain yet, they haven’t found a new housemate who will take over their rooms and so on.

How should I know? They didn’t tell me these! I only knew (from my point of view) that they avoid me. I felt down because I knew our days are counted. Of course, I am going to visit them, it will be a great opportunity to explore Alicante, but I badly wanted to have time with them before they jump in the car and start their journey. Continue reading

How to cut off a toxic person

 

It takes time to realize you are dealing with a toxic person, but once you do it’s time to do something against it.

I had been there before. You do not have to cut totally as long as you can handle it, but have your distance from them.

toxic person

cut toxic person

– Take some space and do not be involved in every drama they have.

– You don’t have to cut them totally, but set limits and don’t let them step over.

– Don’t give them an explanation of why you don’t want to be around them, probably they won’t even agree with you.

– Don’t argue them anymore, it drains you without any outcome.

– Respect your decisions.

– Be proud of yourself and don’t be ashamed.

 

Every person and situation different but when something is giving more negative moment than positive, it’s time to consider what is best for you.

 

Should you cut off relations?

Relations are always difficult. There are a lot more behind the scene that we could tell at first. Memories, feelings, fights, experience and a lot more. Sometimes there is a time to cut off someone from our lives when it brings more negative aspects than positive.

And still… it is not easy. I have lost a few friends already. It happened because I changed, they changed, we went a different way with our lives, I moved to a different country and the bond was not strong enough. But this taught me not to try when is no point anymore.

 

toxic people

cut or not?

Sometimes the other person is just not good for you anymore. They give you more bad feeling when you are talking to them, when you are around them and they try to pull you back and act like you are not worthy – only them. When this happens – even you fight against your feelings – you have to think about to cut the person from your life.

I have cut a few people from my life – friends and family. They are toxic people and after long years the relationship doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about them anymore, but I do not want to be involved in their dramas. You can call me cold-hearted, but when your feelings are always telling you the truth and is time to say no after a long time.

 

Have you ever cut someone from your life?

What are the signs of a toxic person?

From time to time we can have toxic people in our lives and better to be aware of it. If you feel drained around certain people or not comfortable with someone, it’s time to check these signs. Better to know you have a relation with a toxic person than punish yourself.

I am not going to write down all of the scientific sides of it, only what I have learned/experienced so far.

 

sign of toxic people

toxic

– you are feeling emotionally exhausted by them

– they try to generate a guilty feeling in you (not doing something)

– they are control freak, want to control your life (who can you be friends with)

– they cannot take no

– they always have a paranoid/conspiracy idea

– they don’t respect your boundaries

I think someone who is always trying to be in a victim role to get what they want. At the meantime, they don’t respect your decisions and get mad or upset when you are step up and do whatever is good for you. They don’t understand you don’t want to hurt them, but you have your own life and decisions and don’t say yes for everything just to please them all the time. Also, I think their life is full of unnecessary drama and they are always complaining about it but not taking any advice to be in a better situation.

When you are not feeling uncomfortable around someone and try to avoid them – think, it might be a toxic person who you are dealing with.

How to make a relationship work

One day my boyfriend came home and was talking about his day at work. He said that he had a colleague who was complaining about her relationship. She is with her boyfriend around a year now, but they don’t really go anywhere or hardly spend time together. They are sitting at home when they have time together but they haven’t had a normal day off together for months. They are working at the same fast food company, where easy to request a particular day off.  I am just saying… Continue reading