Have you ever said yes to do something but all of your bones were against it? Have you ever agreed to something just because you don’t want to say no to someone?
If these have happened to you already then time to set up your boundaries.
What is the boundary? It is an imaginary line, a feeling, a limit – you name it – that you don’t let others step over. Everybody knows what their boundaries are. You feel it, you just don’t want to confront others when you don’t keep them. You are afraid to be too delicate, too bossy, too needy.
You can have personal boundaries toward your friends and family, you can have work boundaries toward your co-workers or even towards strangers.
So how to set and keep your personal boundaries?
1. First, you definitely have to find out what are those. What hurts you the most? Are your friends cancelling meetings at the last minute? Are they always postponing phone calls because there is someone who is their priority?
Stop them! If they are not there for you, no point to be there for them neither. Probably these people are not your friends, but this should be a topic for another brain rush… You need to know your limits to stand for.
2. Then be direct. You cannot keep your line once and forget about it next time. Of course, you always need to consider the circumstances, but if someone doesn’t respect your boundaries without a good reason, then they definitely know what they are doing. Don’t let people disrespect you.
3. Don’t feel bad because you stand up for your feelings. People will always go around as long as you let them. You might feel that it’s not fair from them, but don’t want to say anything, rather buried your frustration and anger inside. It doesn’t do anything good for you, only ruin your confidence and you would feel less important than them.
4. Be selfish. Be you are the main priority for yourself. Self-care is important. People need to understand where you stand with your boundaries, and they cannot step over that mark.
Setting boundaries are important because they are guidelines to others what they can do and cannot do to you. It’s is important in any friendships, relationships, family or workplace as well. It ensures the relationship between two persons be respectful and appropriate.